Log in

Poll #1752570 Update Schedule? Help me out, friends!

Which would you guys rather see:

Longer chapters less often
Shorter chapters more often
So, I'm back at home and I need to work out a schedule that works with everything else and still lets me clear my brain of brain-debris (this is the primary function of fanfic for me). So please let me know. I have a few people who friended me, so I hope some of you will answer. I'd find it helpful. :)

Homework: Making a Liar out of me...

 ... since 1995.

I promised an update by the end of this week. However, considering my Prof's new-found opinion that I "Lack voice and flavor" in the story I'm writing for his class, Ianto and Jack are going to have to take a backseat until next week. Alas, my Uni has yet to adopt a course dedicated to slashfic. :( 
Title: Dinosaurs, Pumpkins and Our Little Secret 1/3
Author: Poesparakeet
Summary:The story of how Jack found an ally and a friend when he charms his way into the heart of yet another Jones.
Rating: G
Warnings: Sappy!
Genre: Fluff and a laugh.

A/NPart of the Jack Came Back series. This is set after Man Up, if you're a stickler for such things, but you don't need to read one to get the other. This one has a few similar things, too. Alternate but wordier title is "Women Who Love Ianto: Not Putting Up With Jack's Bullsh*t"
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Not making any money, never will.

It had been some time since Jack had done anything so domestic as wash dishes by hand. No doubt Ianto's landlady wouldn't allow a machine, not in this quaintly preserved slice of Cardiff. Ianto wouldn't complain, because he liked old things (something Jack was personally grateful for), and because he never complained, not about anything. Even when Jack had half-carried him through the door twenty minutes ago, beaten and sore, to put him to bed. Not a peep. Jack liked to think that if Ianto ever lost a limb, he might trouble someone for a band-aid. He made himself laugh, there, something that happened more in his old age than he liked to admit. He didn't have time to reflect, though, because the door rattled.

Jack almost reached for his gun, but stopped himself when he heard the lock slide. Whoever it was, they had a key. The door opened, and Jack stood very still, keeping out of site. A quiet voice drifted from the landing. “Ianto?” It was a woman's voice. A flash of... jealousy? Since when did Jack Harkness get jealous? More importantly, at least at the moment, why did a woman have the key to Ianto's flat?

“Nope.” Jack answered, moving towards the door. A dark-haired woman jumped at the sight of him.

“Oh! Where is he? Who are you?” Her gaze slid around the room.

“He's in bed, he had a rough day.” There was something about her, something in the square brow and her wide-set eyes. It came to him. “Are you Rhiannon?”

She looked startled again, and her brow twitched as she put the pieces together. "And you're...Jack?”

He nodded. Ianto had told his sister about him? What had he told her? Was this the gosh-he's-dreamy sibling conversation or the that-bastard-left-me-beat-him-up-please one? He kept his distance. With Ianto's new-found love of tazers, there was no telling what he'd got her for Christmas. “So my reputation precedes me! I didn't think he'd told anyone.” Then he grinned, just in case.

She smiled back. “I'm his big sister, he tells me everything.” She paused. “You know, except the classified stuff.”

Jack arched his brow, then gestured her into the kitchen, where she made herself comfortable while he drained the sink. “You know who he works for?”

Rhiannon rolled her eyes. “We live in Splot. Everyone knows Torchwood, What with the running about in those giant black monster trucks and you in that coat, we'd be idiots not to. Then, imagine my surprise when we're out for chips one day and this ugly monstrous thing bounds through the restaurant, being chased by my baby brother with a can of mace. At the time I thought he was a government clerk. Took one hell of a lot of willpower not to beat his arse up for that one, let me tell you.”

Jack was puzzled. Ianto should have retconned Rhiannon, or at least told Jack if she knew about his occupation. Oh, wait. “You never told him you figured it out?”

She shakes her head. “Figured I wasn't supposed to know.”

Jack frowned. “Yet you told me?”

A shrug. “Figured you're his boss. Not much can be done now, right?”

Jack didn't answer that. Plenty could be doe now, but he knew he could never ask Ianto to do it. How cruel would it be to retconn her when he'd let Rhys slide? He changed the subject. “He didn't say he was expecting anyone.”

“He wasn't. I drive up Gareth on my way home from work, I always check to see if his light's on. Hardly ever is, but the only time I see him is when I drop in.” She frowned. “You said he had a rough day?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah. Had his eardrum damaged by some explosives, then he got himself tasered running after a team member. Tea?”

Her eyes widened and she nodded. “Wow. So it's quite dangerous then, isn't it? Well, I mean, of course it is. God, though, I remember when he wanted to be a dinosaur when he grew up. Wasn't that long ago, you know?”

Jack brightened. “Ianto wanted to be a dinosaur?” This was gold. Pure blackmail gold.

“Yeah, when he was about six. So almost twenty years ago, I guess. I'm so old.”

Jack laughed, then realized she didn't know why. “What kind of dinosaur?”

“The kind with wings, because then he could fly and have big teeth.”

Jack's eyes lit up. This was the kind of gossip that would get him espresso for a month. “So, what did he tell you about me.”

She snorts. “Not much. A friend of mine saw you grabbing take-out, thought you looked really friendly. She told me. I asked him, and he blushes like a choirboy whenever you're mentioned, so, yeah. Not much of a confession. He just said you were handsome and that you'd left. Suppose you came back, though.”

Jack winced, leaning against the counter. “Yes I did.”

“I see, and you're making it up to him?”

Jack gestured at the sink. “One dish at a time! Also, a date.”

“One date?”

“Well, there will be more, but we're trying to get through the one first, you know?” The words were already out of his mouth when he realized how it sounded.

Rhiannon was glaring. “You haven't been on a date before, then what have you been doing with my baby brother?” Jack grinned, but Rhiannon cut him off harshly. “Watch your mouth!”

The grin disappeared. “Um... well... take-out, and... stuff. Work makes it hard to have an evening, you know. I used to have to shove him out of the office.”

“Used to?” She was suddenly quite calm again, a cup of tea in her hands. Apparently 'work' was an acceptable excuse, she probably heard it often enough.

“Well, now I sort of carry him. Sometimes literally, but that makes him mad and I get decaff for the rest of the week.” He winked, suddenly very much wanting her to like him. She laughed, just a little flushed. It's good, he thought, that the Harkness charm works on all of the Jones.

A/N:Also, as always, please review. It makes me :D. I am currently alone in a foreign country, you don't want to make me :(, do you? I didn't think so. :P

Torchwood Fanfic: Squished (Janto)

Title: Squished
Author: Poesparakeet
Warnings: None. No, wait, FLUFF ALERT!
Pairing: JANTO!
Summary: Ianto enters Jack's bunker for the first time. Learning, physical exhaustion and fluff ensue.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, and I don't make money off of this. Just having fun.

It was the first time we'd ever actually made it to the bed.

I hadn't even known where Jack slept until that point. I noticed the ladder in his office, but I'd assumed it was tunnel access, just like every other ladder in the hub. The maze underneath the main building was immense, it had to be that way to house the archives. Jack's bunker was a blip on the blueprints and easily missed.

This was after the flirtation and innuendo that passed for courtship with Jack Harkness, after Lisa, after that first night I fell into his arms on the sofa in my flat and the couple of times after that on his desk. We'd had a good day, two successful weevil hunts injury-free and a new toy through the rift, which if you listened to Tosh was The Neatest Thing Ever. A good day for all, and the rest of the team left tired and content.

It was also the first time I tried to start something myself. I was tidying up the coffee maker when Jack walked by, and I grabbed one of his braces. The look on his face a one of pleased curiosity, so I kissed him and felt him grin into it. I tried to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away. I immediately let go of him, jerking back and trying to slide past and make my escape. I was an idiot, he probably had something to do, plans with someone else, I couldn't just monopolize his time!

Before I could take a single step away from him, though, Jack had his arms around my waist and my body against his. His face was inches from mine, with that wicked smile still on his face and a reassuring spark in his eyes.

“Where do you think you're going? You shouldn't start things you can't finish.”

I smiled back, blushing. “Oh, I can finish it.” I both hands on that perfect arse and pulled him closer, grinding him against me and going in for another kiss, but he wriggled free.

“We've got time.” With that he took me by that hand and led me into his office, dropping down the ladder with a wink and a grin. I rushed over to the ladder to follow him, and I stood still for a moment when confronted with Jack's personal space.

Small wardrobe, bedside table, a door on the right to a tiny bathroom. The narrow bed had hospital corners, and Jack was sitting there by his pillow, removing his wrist strap and setting it on the bedside table. He bounced for a moment, patting the bed beside him.“Don't be shy.”

I returned his smile and sat down next to him. I tried to keep my eyes on his, but they kept wandering. Jack laughed, and I met his gaze again with a start. “What?”

Jack was still smiling, but not as wide, and his nose was scrunched up. This was the smile Jack gave cute things, and it made me blush almost as hard as the wicked grin did. “Not what you were expecting?”

I shrugged, still blushing. “I dunno. I mean, I knew you lived in the Hub, but...”

“... but you were expecting a coffin? A futuristic sleep chamber? A love nest?” He gasped when my traitorous blush deepened. “You WERE expecting a love nest! What, scented candles, mood lighting, one of those big round beds that spins?”

There was so much blood in my face at this point I might have passed out. I shoved him. “No! I just thought... I dunno. You've never seemed the type for a spartan existence. You like nice things.”

Jack nodded. “I do. But I was also military for years, and some habits die hard. Besides, I hardly spend any time here.” I sat quiet for a moment, puzzled. Jack caught the silence, and Jack hated silence, so he grabbed me and shoved me onto my back. We were nose to nose.

“It doesn't count if you're asleep?”

Jack chuckled again, slipping my tie out from around my neck and undoing buttons, planting kisses as he went. “I rarely am. At my age I'm lucky if I can get more than three hours of sleep a night.”

I paused again. “That's terrible. You must spend so much time alone!”

Jack had made it down to my diaphragm at this point, and he looked up at me, smiling. “Well, I'm not alone right now, so you'd better tire me out.” The patronizing smile left him, and his wicked grin was back. I returned it, squirming when his lips met my stomach. “Sorry.” he murmured, even though he wasn't.

That was the best night I'd had with Jack, and I was left half brain dead with my head on his pillow while he strutted naked into the bathroom to clean up. I was still recovering when I heard the water turn off, and I quietly wondered what I should do now. Do I leave? I looked around. Definitely not a love nest. I sat up and grabbed my boxers out from under the bed. When Jack walked in he barely glanced at me. He just crawled around me so that he was next to the stone wall, slipped under the covers and pulled me down next to him.

I lay down, still not sure what to do. Jack decided for me, slinging one arm across my body and pulling me close. I lay on my side Jack curled against my back, every inch of his front a soft weight behind me. I smiled a little bit, relaxing into him.

A sleepy voice sounded in my ear. “I can hear you smirking.”

I gave a little shrug from my comfortable, if slightly squished position. “Never pegged you as a cuddler, Sir.”

Jack smiled against the nape of my neck. “Good. Have to keep you on your toes.”

I relaxed again, adjusting my position a tiny bit so that I was squished further into the mattress. Jack adjusted as well, and we both slept through the night.

Read? Review Please! I'm sick and alone in a foreign country, humor me! :P
SSSSSOOOOO booooored! needs me some Janto... gonna go write some!
Summary: Some weapons should never be allowed to fall into the hands of one Jack Harkness. Ianto learns the hard way when Jack finds out he's ticklish and proceeds to break down his defences one by one.
Rating: Teen
Categories: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance, Slash
Warnings: None

Don't own Torchwood or anything! Not making money!

Chapter 1: http://poesparakeet.livejournal.com/1085.html
Chapter 2: http://poesparakeet.livejournal.com/1283.html
This is Chapter 3!

I sat on the medical gurney, silently cursing worms with butcher knives. Or, that is to say, aliens who looked like worms with butcher knives., which were actually a combination stinger/steak knives. The steak, of course: Filet Ianto.

We'd honestly thought it was a really big weevil. That's what the rift flare had looked like, down to the radiation spikes. Jack was fairly certain it came from the same planet, and I was willing to believe that, as they had the same fleshy tinge as Janet and her cohorts. Except they were bigger and meaner and distinctly more frightening. The database had record of them from 1976, when Torchwood Edinburgh had lost someone to one of the things. This meant they had done an extensive workup on the beast, which I was thankful for. It presented a worst-case scenario, which I was not so thankful for.

It seems the beast stabs it's victims, leaving one of the knife-like stingers in them to seep a paralytic into their veins, leaving them alive but unable to move while the worm swallows them chunk by chunk. Lucky for me the worm hadn't had time to dig in before Jack shot it to pieces while Owen yanked the stinger out.

“The effects should wear off in six hours.” Owen's voice startled me out of my griping. “You're lucky we got that stinger out so fast, or you'd be in hospital. This stuff's meant to paralyse you completely.” As it was, I had full control of my face and partial control of my upper body. I nodded.

“Do I have to stay here?”

Owen looked tempted. “No, I have to cut up this worm and you'd only be in the way.”

Jack, who'd been sitting shockingly still and quiet until now, perked up. “Help me get him in my bunker.” He was grinning, and Owen frowned at the sight. Jack's grin shrunk a size when Owen scowled, then Jack threw his hands up in the air in a gesture clearly meant to convey innocence. It didn't. Owen gave up and shook his head, finishing a conversation that had played out so many times they didn't need words to have it.

“What can I do for him?” Jack asked patiently. “To help him rest and recover.”

Owen didn't look convinced, but he gave in anyway. “Rub the muscles affected by the paralytic, hard. Increased circulation can only bring good things, at this point.” He looked at me, before reaching out to squeeze my socked foot carefully. “You can feel this, right?”

I nodded, tense at Owen's touch. I knew I shouldn't worry, Owen was always politely careful about my ticklish spots. He'd known about them long before the rest of the team, but never took advantage. Either too manly or too professional, I suspect. Probably a combination of the two.

The process of actually getting me into Jack's bunker was a long and awkward one, and when it was finally done I was propped up on pillows on Jack's he bed. Owen went back to autopsy, and Jack sank down onto the bunk next to me. He didn't say a word, just started undoing the buttons at the cuffs and neck of my shirt. That done he took one of my partially paralysed hands in his, and started very gently kneading the muscles and tendons surrounding the fine bones. I sighed.

“You've been holding out on me.”

Jack smiled. “I usually have other ways to loosen you up.”

I laughed. “Oh?”

He mock glared. “Don't you bat those eyes at me, Ianto Jones. You know what it does to me. Gotta prove to Owen that you and I can behave in these situations. If we do, he might let us take care of each other more often.” Then he winked at me.

I couldn't help myself. “You would be taking care of me!” I pulled him lightly towards me, and he went along with my movement until he was laying on top of me. He groaned.

“You're killing me.”

“That's alright.”

“You're cheeky today.”

“I'm always this cheeky Sir, you just don't pay attention.”

Jack sighed, looking down at me. “This really isn't a good idea.”

“When has that ever stopped you” I pointed out.

“Humph.” Jack looked thoughtful. “Never, but it will this time. Wonder at my mastery over my own libido and yours..” With that he rolled off of me with a smirk, moving towards his dresser and digging through one of the drawers. I couldn't help it. I laughed.

Jack came back with a t-shirt, grin set and nostrils flaring. “You don't think I can?” He started to unbutton my shirt before helping me out of it. Then, to my shock, he helped me into another shirt without a glance. I frowned. Jack playing hard to get was not what I'm used to. As he pulled the shirt over my head, I grabbed him again and pulled him into a thorough kiss. He groaned into it.

“Ianto!” He pulled away. “Now's not the time.” He stared me down. I pouted. He sighed. “Owen could be down any minute. What will he think if he comes in and you're molesting me?”

“Molesting you? Jack, I'm limp from the waist down!” I knew he wouldn't be able to resist. Jack rolled back on top and ground his pelvis into mine.

“You sure?”

“I think the toxin is meant to stop me running away, Jack, not stop me from getting hard.”

“Dirty worm.” Jack grinned again, backing off. “So you really can't move at all?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, Jack, I let you and Owen carry me about like a sofa for fun.”

“Okay, so you can't walk, but you can't even move the muscles?” He was smiling again, and I didn't know why. That made me nervous.

“No Jack, I can't get so much as a twitch.”

“Really?” Jack was moving now, settling to sit on the edge of the bed next to my legs. He put a hand on my knee. “Not a twitch?” With that he gently drew a circle around my kneecap with one finger. The sound that escaped me was downright embarrassing, starting as a yelp and turning into a giggle.

“Jack! That's unfair...” I growled at him while he laughed at my reaction before grabbing his collar and awkwardly tugging him towards me, only half of my muscles doing their job. He came along willingly.

“I know, that's why I do it. I'd never tickle you if it was a fair fight.”

I cursed him out under my breath before kissing him again. “Bastard. I'll find yours one day.” Jack's not ticklish, as far as I've experimented. Not that I'm prone to experimentation in that regard. I'm not the type to start fights I can't win.

Jack chuckled. “No you won't.” I bit his chin, annoyed at the sass in his voice, then pressed my lips back onto his with firm fervour. “Have you considered,” he ground out between kisses, “that this is just positive re-enforcement?” I looked at him curiously. “When I tickle you, I get kissed.” He pointed out. I growled, and bit him again, this time at the base of his neck. He gasped, grabbing me by the shoulders and forcing me to look him in the eyes. He was coy, obviously pleased. “You are running a serious risk of Owen coming down to find you in a very compromising position. Or two.”

I smirked up at him. “You know me, sir. I'm a risk taker.” Something on Jack's face changed at my words, like I'd hit the wrong button on one of Tosh's computers. He froze. I tried to kiss him, to get him back into it, but he was stiff as a stone statue. “Jack?”


“What's wrong?”

“Nothing. Just thinking... of you, Ianto Jones. My risk taker.” His voice was distant. I suddenly had the feeling I was in trouble somehow. Was it something I'd said? About being a risk-taker? I wasn't, though, not usually. I was trying to be more bold for him. Maybe if I was a little more brave, he wouldn't leave me again. Jack relaxed a little, looking me in the eyes once more.


My saying his name seemed to focus him suddenly. “I spoke to Tosh...” I nodded, watching him expectantly. He took a deep breath. “We talked about you, and your stint as the resident risk-taker.” Oh. That wasn't good. I let out a slightly nervous laugh.

“This is Tosh we're talking about, Jack. She considers changing lanes on the highway a risk. It's all percentages with her.” I said it as derisively as possible, mentally apologizing to Tosh. Risk analysis was one of her jobs, no one could fault her for worrying.

Jack raised his eyebrow, calling my bluff. “Yes, clearly Tosh was being a worry-wart when you crashed the SUV into the sports-car that got highjacked by those two blow fish.” He looked like he wanted to list more, but paused to stare me down. I groaned. I'd really been hoping Tosh hadn't gone into detail.

“Jack, you weren't there. We were short in the field and I needed to act like a proper field agent. That means taking some risks.” He didn't look anything near convinced.

“I see. So when you jumped off the peer into a speeding boat with an armed alien on it, that was a regular-old field-agent risk too?”

I gulped. I'd really hoped Tosh had skipped that one, the traitor. I shut my eyes, leaning back into the pillows in defeat. “Jack, I don't know what to tell you. You were gone, things got bad, we all had to take more risks than usual. Had to make up for all the stupid shite you do.”

Jack grinned wolfishly. He slid way from me, down the bed towards my legs. His hands hovered over my paralysed appendages. “I'm stupid now, am I?”

I let out a hint of a giggle when his hands skimmed closer, he wasn't even touching me. One look at Jack's face told me I was in serious trouble.

He ran on knuckle up the sole of my right foot, paused,then did it again. He kept his hand there, hovering and ready to strike. I squirmed as best as I was capable. An odd little dance with the parts of my upper body I could move while my legs stayed totally limp. I whimpered with every move he made.

“Jack- eep! This is ba- eep! BAD!” My voice rose as I started to get desperate. “This is the- eep! The worst thing you've EVER d-oh! D-done!” The light touches to my foot was constant now, running up and down rhythmically. “Bastard!” I was giggling, my upper body half-curled in a ball of defeat.

Jack was just grinning at me, shameless in his serious lack of character. Seriously, who torments a man who's been paralysed by the arse-end of a space worm? Captain Jack-bloody-Harkness, that's who. His fingers started tap dancing on the tops of my toes, and I was able to catch my breath. “Whatever happened to behaving?”

Jack shrugged. “I think your safety is more important.” He suddenly looked thoughtful. “What do you think, Ianto, two minutes for every stupid stunt?”

I can only blame what happened next on desperation and my tickling-addled brain. “Jack, no! Twelve minutes! I can't- AH!” I shrieked suddenly when Jack lunged for a surprise attack on my helpless knees, half laying on top of me as I tried and failed to use what control I had of my upper body to throw myself off the bed and make an escape. It hadn't been the best plan, admittedly. Jack gaped at me while relentlessly playing fingers around both kneecaps.

“TWELVE minutes? I was going to tickle you for SIX! Tosh told me about the blow fish in the car, jumping off the pier, and the thing with the glob monster. What the hell have you been up to, Ianto Jones!”

I could barely breath, let alone think up a half-decent excuse. “Bad... math!”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I'm sure. You'd have to be brain dead for me to believe that, Yan.” He hooked his arms around my legs, hefting them up so that he had access to the backs of my thighs. I was laughing too hard to reply. He paused, allowing me to catch my breath as he reached into the bedside drawer and dug around. He smirked, triumphant when he held up my stopwatch. God, was he serious? Jack caught the horrified look on my face. “Tell me the other three.”

“No! You'll just do it anyways!”

“What, you don't trust me?”

“Not even as far as I could throw you. Now. With a body pull of paralytic.”

“That's probably fair.” Jack chuckled. “But I'll tell you what. I'll be a real nice guy today, only do six minutes. That's happening, no way around that. I need to know you'll think twice next time.” He was using his Captain voice just then, and for all his faults it was turning me on. This is why one should never love a person who's actually irresistible. “But,” he continued, “If you come clean I'll spare your calves.” My entire not-paralysed body jerked at the promise that doubled as a threat. I briefly considered screaming for Owen, but that had too many variables. On the one hand, Owen could come down and tell Jack to knock it off, and I would never live it down. On the other, Owen could come down, roll his eyes and leave, all but giving Jack permission to continue, and I would never live it down. The former option was all the more likely if Jack got the opportunity to explain why he was tickling me stupid. It was Owen who'd had to patch me up, after all.

Jack was getting impatient. “Come on, you know someone else will tell be sooner or later. Might as well spill the beans.” He moved his fingers to rest at my calves. It was too much.

“Ah! Jack, no, I'll tell! I'll tell!” I squeaked, curling up as best I could in a defensive ball with my eyes squeezed tight. I held my breath until he moved his hands. Then I recounted both time's I'd gone out to take care of a weevil myself to avoid waking the team, as well as the incident with the gear-powered bomb. Jack became more perturbed with every word. When I was done his eyes shifted back to the stopwatch in his hand, and I made a last ditch attempt at salvation.

“I'd like to point out that you wouldn't punish anyone else for taking those risks!”

Jack continued to frown at me for a moment, then dropped his eyes. He sighed, then his body sagged. “I know.” He put down the stopwatch and crawled back up the bed, spooning up behind me. He looked very sad. I jerked when he put his arm around me, but he hushed me and held me close. “I know.” He pressed his face into my hair.

The sudden change in mood had me seriously concerned. Not that Jack's emotions weren't flighty, and depression was a given at his age, but he was not prone to this kind of honest sadness. “Jack?” I asked quietly, letting him take the question as he wished.

He sighed again. “What would I do, Yan?”

I felt I was missing something important. “Sorry?”

“What would I do, if I came back and you were gone? If one of those stunts had cost you your life? Cost me your life.”


“You would never come back. I would have left, spent a a year with him hurting me, watched everything die and then saved it afterwards, and you'd have still been dead.”

“A year? Jack, what...”

“Never mind that. I don't want to talk about that. The point is that when the Doctor asked if I wanted to come with him, I said no. For the team, for Earth, and for you, Jones Ianto Jones. I missed that fabulous wit, and figured the universe just wouldn't be any fun without you.” I felt his smile against my scalp. He shifted, then settled. We lay there quietly, his silence dark and mine reverent. We stayed there all night, my abused body wrapped up in his. I don't know if he slept, but I did. Long and deep. When I woke up, I could move. I just didn't want to.

Read it? Review it please! I love reviews ever so much!

Fic: Man Up

Title: Man Up Chapter Title: Man Up
Rating: All Ages
Characters: Jack Harkness,Toshiko Sato
Genres: Alternate Universe,Angst,Character Study,Humor,Introspection
Summary: When Ianto's update on the events during his absence leaves a curious gap, Jack takes Tosh out for lunch to get the scoop.
Word count: 696
Disclaimer: Don't own Torchwood and stuff. Woe. Just playing.

Author's Notes: Here's a short one shot with Jack and Tosh, also the first piece in a series I'm thinking will easily be the most serious thing I've ever written.

Jack had spent a lot of time thinking about Ianto since he'd come back. He had a general idea of what his team had been up to, of course. They had been one of Saxon's favorite things to taunt him with aboard the Valiant. Still, the details were fuzzy, obscured by secrecy, time-line and Saxon's lying tongue. At first, the instinct had been to turn to Ianto for the update, because Ianto paid attention and generally knew everything that went on in the Hub whether he was supposed to know it or not. He got what he expected, a full report on all things related to Torchwood: Whether that meant artifacts, aliens, or Gwen's love life. Yet there was a gap, a blind spot in all of Ianto's stories. Jack didn't say anything then, because at the time he was glad Ianto was talking to him, and if he pushed surely Ianto would push back. So he went to Tosh.

Tosh never claimed boldly to know everything, but that didn't mean she didn't. She was the one who slogged through CCTV footage after all. So he'd taken her out for a sandwich on one of the quiet afternoons that seemed to happen less often than they once had. They sat at the table, facing each other and sitting in a companionable silence. Jack hated silence.

“So how were things when I was gone?”

Tosh's eyes were round and knowing behind her soda cup. “I assume by 'things' you mean 'Ianto'?”

Jack smiled and shrugged. “You caught me.”

Toshiko grinned her tiny little grin when he blushed, but her face quickly turned serious. “He wouldn't tell you?

“I didn't push.”

A nod. “Probably best.” Here eyes darkened with hesitation, and Jack's throat tightened. “He... wasn't good Jack. I mean, he stepped up. I'm sure he didn't say anything, but Ianto held us together. He made us all remember our jobs while helping us fill the space you left. But he wasn't good... personally.”

Jack nodded, guilt twisting him in half.

Toshiko sighed. “Owen gave him a really hard time about you, I think I should say that since I know he won't. That wasn't all, though... he was so withdrawn. Like he was before Lisa, robot butler, you know?”

Jack nodded again, still not trusting his voice.

“And...” Her eyes dropped. “He took risks. Bad ones. I mean, they are always there, but it was like he was taking every one on himself. Like he was taking the risks you would have. Only... well, he wouldn't have come back if they'd backfired, would he?”

With those words, Jack's misery compounded and nearly drown him. The thought, the imagined scenario ate at him like a Willerdon Acid-beast. The Master defeated and the Valiant escaped to come home and find Ianto dead anyway? Unbearable.

Tosh was looking across at him, half accusing and half concerned. “He seems better now that things are back to normal, though!” Her eyes narrowed. “Are things back to normal, Jack?”

Jack's eyes widened under her stare. “I'm not leaving again!”

Tosh sighed. “That's not what I mean, Jack. You treated Ianto badly, he felt worthless! He's worth more than you give him. You... you need to make this right if you still want him.”

Jack opened his mouth, about to explain about their upcoming date. Tosh cut him off, eyes angry but too shy to meet his. “I mean, we all realize commitment isn't really your thing these days, but you are just going to have to get over it or get over Ianto!” Tosh's fury abated, and she suddenly seemed unsure of how to finish her rant. “So... yes.” she punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Man up, Harkness.”

There was a loaded silence after she finished, before Jack burst out laughing. Tosh glared at him, but her lips were pursed to hide her smile. “Shut up!” She punched him again, and her smile broke out. “I mean it, Jack!”

“I... I know Tosh.” His laughter abated, and when he looked up Tosh seemed unconvinced. “Really, Tosh, I know.”

Tosh nodded, satisfied. They finished their sandwiches, and Jack was comfortable in the silence.

Read? Review please! They make me so happy, and I update faster when I'm happy! :)

Chapter 4: Bribe You Better

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, the characters or situations. Just playing.

Summary: When Ianto is sick, he usually cheats. Bringing files home in secret and cleaning his flat keep him sane. But when his illness is of alien origin, he is stuck recovering at the Hub under Owen and Jack's watchful eyes. Between threats, bribes, and Martha playing nursemaid, how will our favorite busybody survive?
Rating: All Ages
Categories: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Martha Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Author: poesparakeet

COMPLETE! Put the epilogue at the end of this post, it's too short to really deserve its own. :P.
Chapter 1: poesparakeet.livejournal.com/1778.html
Chapter 2: poesparakeet.livejournal.com/1935.html
Chapter 3:poesparakeet.livejournal.com/2319.html


Ianto was miserable.

The previous night had Martha leaving at around ten for her hotel room, about two hours after the rest of the team. He's groaned when he saw Jack, fully dressed, settle down on the couch a few feet away with two of his nasty bodice-ripper novels. Apparently he had no intention of sleeping that night. Ten minutes later the rift alarm went off, Jack ran out after a Weevil and left Ianto alone in his ridiculous hospital bed in the dimply-lit hub. Unable to move for fear of breaking his rushed promise to Jack as the other ran out the door, and partially weary of the consequences such a betrayal may invoke. It had been a fitful night, his fever still a tad too high for comfort, until Jack came back in the wee hours of the morning to sit on the couch and continue his reading. Rest came easier, then.

When Ianto woke from his deep sleep it was to the sound of laughter ringing through the hub. Martha and Jack stood a few feet from his bed, arms flung around each other in a passionate embrace, each with one hand holding Jack's book.

Oh... Findlay!” Martha gushed. Her eyes slipped from Jack's to the open page of the book. “Wrap your tight, muscled arms around me! Oh, what muscles, like potatoes they are!” The entire room broke up in laughter while Jack and Martha tried to maintain their serious faces and sultry eyes.

Victoria, my dear,” Jack drawled, in what was possibly the worst British accent Ianto had ever heard. “Your love is like a wildfire through the kindling that is my poor, broken heart.” Gwen was on the ground now, still giggling wildly along with the rest of the team.

Ianto piped up. “Don't believe him, that's what he told me last week!” All eyes turned to him, wide and teary from laughter.

Martha was the first to reply. “Just a mo, Ianto, you can be the sexy Welsh stable-boy in the next chapter and seduce my husband away from me.”

Jack took the book and flipped forward thoughtfully. “Actually, I think you're the one who gets seduced by the stable boy. And he's Greek.”

Martha rolled her eyes. “Well, ours is Welsh, and I am not the hussy in this relationship!”

Are you calling me a hussy?”

Yes. Yes I am.” With that Martha pursed her lips, crossed her arms and watched Jack expectantly.

Jack paused there, looking thoughtful for a moment. Then he turned to Ianto without arguing, walking towards his lover in a manner best described as 'predatory'. “Well, if we're going this far off script, I don't think it's the stable-boy who does the seducing.” With that he took Ianto into his arms, half carrying him as Ianto's legs wobbled from being suddenly forced to support his weight after so long in bed.

Alright!” cried Owen, throwing his hands up in the air. “That's me gone. His pills are on the counter, Harkness, see that he gets them. Once at ten, once at six. Goodnight!”

Ianto was confused. “You're leaving already?”

Yeah, Teaboy, It's quitting time!” Everyone else in the room nodded, starting to grab their things. Jack laughed.

It's six PM, Yan.”

Ianto's eyes got round. “Six PM? I slept all day?”

Martha came over and gave both men a kiss on the cheek. “You sure did, love, and a really good rest too. You slept through all you're boyfriend's shenanigans. I'm on a plane bright and early tomorrow, so this is goodbye.”

Bye, Martha.” Both men answered, Ianto blushing at her remark. Boyfriend? Was he Jack's boyfriend? Did Jack know they were boyfriends? Did men their age have boyfriends? Then, what else would you call it? Still, it sounded like something his niece might chant in the schoolyard. He broke out of the reverie as the gear door shut behind Tosh.

Jack was still there, though. “You should probably get back in bed.”

Ianto groaned, the temptation to go limp in despair almost overwhelming, but he kept his feet. “Jack... I slept for twenty hours!”

Jack sighed.“Why don't you go shower and clean up. I bet you'll feel better.” Ianto let out a sigh of relief, slipping from Jack's arms to stroll happily towards the showers.

The water felt cool against his heated skin, and the shower was more refreshing that he'd dared to hope. It felt like the sickness was washing away from his body. Between soap and toothpaste, he felt like a new man. The feeling wore down slightly when he stepped out of the showers in a borrowed set of Jack's sweats to find the Captain waiting for him in the main hub. Ianto's eyes slid to the oh-so-hated hospital bed, and he let out a sound of despair. “Jack...”

Jack sighed, moving forward to wrap his arms around Ianto's waist. “What's it going to take to make you take your pills and go to bed?”

Ianto smiled and pressed himself against Jack in an attempt at distraction. “I can think of something.”

Jack sighed again. “Oh, Ianto Jones, what am I gonna do with you?” He stopped when Ianto gave him his most lascivious grin. Then he huffed, glanced towards the med bay, looked around the hub and smiled back. “Well, Martha did say bribes work best.” He planted a light kiss on Ianto's lips. Ianto hummed happily.

She is very good at it.”

Jack shot him a wicked grin, before kissing Ianto again, hard his time. Then his lips slid slowly up Ianto's jawline, following the sensitive ridge all the way up to his ear before nipping at the lobe. “Who do you think is better?”

Ianto groaned when Jack's teeth brushed his throat. “Oh, you, definitely you.” Jack chuckled, pulling Ianto in closer. “But then...” Ianto pulled away. “She DID marathon all of my James Bond movies with me, something you blatantly refuse to do...”

Jack growled. “I'm the only secret agent with futuristic technology who never ages that you are allowed to ogle!” Ianto laughed, and Jack started to playfully half-carry him towards his bunker. Jack proved all the ways he was superior to James Bond that night, and Ianto proved that he really was on the mend.






Epilogue- Two Days Later...


Ianto was thrilled.


Jack, Tosh and Gwen were miserable. Gwen was snuggled on the now-clean couch, sniffling up a storm. The Captain was bundled into the bed Ianto had previously occupied, receiving the 'bad patient' treatment for himself. (Or, as Ianto called it, the big-fat-hypocrite treatment.) Tosh, as the only person Owen actually trusted to rest and recover as ordered, got to sit with her laptop in Jack's bunker.

OWED!” Jack yelled from behind a pile of tissues and bra-buster romance novels. “You are a terrible doctor! How could you dot realize we would all ged it?” A look of consternation. “Wade. Why didid YOU ged it?”

At this Owen shrugged. “The Tea Boy was the only one showing symptoms. It was an alien virus, and we'd just had an alien around. Since no-one else got quite as... close... to our guest as your, ahem, 'mate' did I assumed with was passed through direct contact with the alien being. So, none of you could get it once he was gone. Didn't worry about you snogging him because you're always telling me you can't get sick.” He paused, looking thoughtful for a moment. “ I knew I wouldn't get it because I had my flu shot two weeks ago, though the shot should have protected you lot as well... oh, wait. That's right, none of you got your flu shot because you're a punch of pansies who ran away from my needle. Whoops.

Every sick person in the Hub groaned, and Ianto laughed. As he passed out his extra-special sick-person coffees (with extra whipped cream and the mint sprinkles he refused to buy otherwise), he also re-considered his impression of the team's medical officer. Owen was an excellent doctor.

Read? Please review! This is my first completed fic, and I am kookoo for encouragement!



Fic: Terrible Patient, Looks Good in a Suit: Chapter Three
Chapter One:
Chapter Two:

Chapter Four:
NEW CHAPTER! poesparakeet.livejournal.com/2805.html

Disclaimer: I don`t own Trochwood or its characters, situations ect. I`m just playing with them.
Summary: When Ianto is sick, he usually cheats. Bringing files home in secret and cleaning his flat keep him sane. But when his illness is of alien origin, he is stuck recovering at the Hub under Owen and Jack's watchful eyes. Between threats, bribes, and Gwen playing nursemaid, how will our favourite busybody survive?
Rating: All Ages
Categories: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Martha Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Warnings: None

Ianto was miserable (and a little terrified.)
Until now he had always had the assurance that when Owen inevitably snapped, Jack would be around to save him. When Owen had come at him with the monstrous needle in his hand, Ianto had immediately screamed his lover's name. However, Jack's white knight complex had it's limits, and Ianto had surpassed them somewhere between his attempts to coerce Gwen and the third time he'd been caught out of bed.

So when Owen (still holding a needle the size of a turkey baster) told Ianto to “Lay down and hold very still.” He immediately complied, no white knight in sight. He was ramrod strait in bed, covers pulled up to his chin when Owen slowly lowered the needle. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out some now-familiar pills, and told Ianto to swallow them. Ianto complied. Then Owen turned around and walked back to med bay, calling out to Martha: “You sticking around?”

“Well, I'm stuck in Cardiff till the day after tomorrow. Might as well.” She smiled, moving over to stroke Ianto's fevered head. “Besides, it's not often I have the undivided attention of my favorite Torchwood employee.” Ianto smiled at her, and she leaned in, whispering. “Don't tell Jack that part.” Then she budged him over on the bed so that she was smooshed up next to him, her presence a comfortable warmth and weight through the blankets.

Ianto pulled out his 'save me' eyes one last time, finally getting the response he'd been looking for (almost). Martha looked at his face and pouted her lips, smoothing a cool hand over his forehead once more. “I know you're bored, love, but you need to rest.”

“But Martha...”

“Hush now, I know. I'll make you a deal. If you rest up and your fever comes down by one degree, I'll send Jack out for whatever takeout you want, doctors orders. Then we can chat and watch telly, you and me.” She raised both her eyebrows questioningly, though she knew the answer. His eyes were already drooping, and he nodded.

“One degree?”

“Yeah, but don't think on it too hard. You'll just make it worse.”
Ianto nodded again, then relaxed into the pillow. He was dead to the world within minutes.

When Ianto next woke he could still feel Martha at his back, hear the sound of shifting paper as she flipped through a book. In front of him, waiting like so many colourful little demons intent on forcing themselves and bed-rest upon him, was yet ANOTHER pile of pills. They were like Owen in capsule form. He shut his eyes again quickly in an attempt to delay the inevitable.

Martha, however, had already noted the change in his breathing. When she shifted to see him playing possum, she chuckled. No wonder Owen was ready to tear his hair out. Carefully so as not to let on, she reached out one hand until her fingers were poised behind Ianto's left ear, then ran wiggling fingers over the back of his neck.

The resulting sensation made Ianto nearly leap out of his skin. He rolled over fast to eye Martha reproachfully, before pausing to consider how she might have known to do such a thing. He groaned.

“Jack told?”

Martha laughed. “I'm afraid so. He wasn't exceptionally pleased that Owen had to threaten you back into bed with a weapon. He did tell me to let you know that you're-” she deepened her voice and took on an American accent “- lucky I only told you, and that I didn't mention which spot makes him scream like a schoolgirl.” Martha laughed at her own imitation and slid off the bed to reach for the thermometer. Ianto groaned again as she stuck it in his mouth.

“No winging.” Martha scolded. “You'll muck up the reading and I'll have to do it the hard way!” Ianto's cheeks reddened and his eyes bulged. Even Owen never threatened him with that! Martha caught the look on his face. “What? I can be tough.” Ianto smiled again. He knew Martha could be tough. That why he was counting on her to protect him from Owen, since Jack wasn't in the mood and he'd promised not to shoot the medic. Again. Speaking of medics he wanted to shoot...

Owen strolled over from the autopsy bay. “Make him take his damn pills while you're at it, Martha.” Ianto glared hard at him. “If Jack's leverage over you is the only thing keeping you in that bloody bed, I'll get him a telly station. Actually, a radio station, because no-one should have to wake up to the things Tosh sees on the CCTV when you two get careless.”

Martha laughed, winking at Ianto as she handed him a cup of water to down his pills with “Somehow, Owen, I don't think Tosh minds.” Owen made another face before turning and grumbling his way over to his desk. Ianto choked on his last swallow of water, blushing again. Martha grinned at the sight. “Aww, Jack's right. You ARE adorable when you don't know you're gorgeous.” That had them both laughing.
Next thing Ianto knew, a pare of warm arms embraced him from behind. Jack's voice sounded close to his ear, hot breath rushing down his neck.

“Are you feeling better, or did Martha need to use her new secret weapon?”

Martha climbed back onto the bed next to Ianto. “A bit of both. Temp's down three degrees!” Ianto felt smug, then leaned into Jack so he could look up into his face.

“I think that means you're going for Indian.”

Jack's eyebrows shot up. “Am I?”

Martha smiled coyly. “It's my medical opinion that bribes work best on stubborn patients.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I see, and how did I get dragged into this?”
Ianto suddenly pulled away from Jack, wrapping his arms around Martha.

“I'm ill. If I'm left without medical supervision I might slip away.”
Jacks eyebrows flew higher. “I see. But Owen's here!”

Ianto frowned, squeezing Martha tighter. “So if Martha leaves I will slip away. With screaming and violence.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “He's not that bad, but I will get you Indian food. Butter chicken?” Ianto nodded.

“Me too!” Martha piped up. At Jacks look she said “Well, if I'm malnourished I might slip in my care-giving duties. Do you want that?”

Jack sighed, defeated. “Oh. Dear lord, no.”

Read? Review it please! They make me feel fuzzy, AND they help me write faster!

Sick Ianto Take 3

Finally, my final paper for my Milton class is done! Now I can get started on Chapter 3! This year has been crazy. The workload really would ahve been tolerable, had I taken ONE of the THREE courses I was in. I swear, I was ready to curl up in a corner by the end of Milton. It did have an enthusiastic prof, though, and that always helps. interesting subject matter, too. Still ready to move on and actually do something creative!